How to lead through being able to prioritize.

Hello and welcome back to The Present Method Blog! My name is Mr. Presentr. The purpose of this blog is to help you overcome symptoms of anxiety and depression. Doing so requires us to make smart decisions when it comes to dealing with our negative feelings. To help us with this, we’re following a family that has suffered a serious loss (the suicide of one of their children) and is now learning to cope with that loss. 

If you’ve just joined us, please see the first post, “How to Lead Through Being More Patient”, otherwise, enjoy Scene 2 and see what goes into making smart decisions.  

Scene 2: The Decision

Ewan wasn’t sure about having the family participate in grief counseling. He didn’t like the idea of sharing personal information with outsiders. The information shared could be leaked to the press and negatively affect the share price of his company, weakening its position. At the same time, there could be issues that need to be addressed. Ewan decided to speak with the kids while Caroline (his wife) was out. 

‘Why do we have to talk about this a second time?’ Ainsley questioned, as she and her siblings filed into the great room.

 ‘Because Dad wanted us to meet. Mom hasn’t been the same since the funeral. I think we can all sense that, right?’ Amelia responded.

’Yes,’ Michael added. 

‘Still, I could be out doing something else. We all could,’ Ainsley retorted, dryly.

’Let’s just be patient and see what he has to say,’ Michael stated abruptly. 

A few moments later Ewan entered the room. ’Hello kids, thanks for meeting with me. I won’t take up a lot of your time – this will only take a few moments. I think we can all agree that our family has taken a hit recently and now may be the time to regroup and come back stronger.’ 

‘What do you mean by that?’ Ainsley questioned. 

Her father continued, ‘Your mother had suggested we attend counseling to address the loss of Illisa. I know we resisted at first but now may be the time to adjust and adapt.’

’Why?!’ all three children gasped.

Ewan scowled at them. ‘Because it’s your mother’s wish. I think we can all sense a change in her since the funeral.’ Amelia glanced at both her siblings. 

‘What if the public finds out?’ Michael asked. 

‘I’ll handle that,’ Ewan returned.

 Character Commentary:

How the family deploys the different qualities of The Present Method and their impact on decision-making.

This week, we’ll be talking about openness. What is openness? Openness is how we approach change, difference, transition, and the unknown. If we’re open, we’ll approach the unknown with a positive attitude. If we struggle with being open, we may have a poor attitude toward the unknown. How open we are is the single greatest factor in whether we learn and adapt to our situation.

First, let’s assess the children for openness:

Ainsley: She is the least open in this scene – not even willing to talk about their loss a second time. 

Michael: He is more open than Ainsley, acknowledging how his mother feels and taking in information. Yet, he’s still reluctant to acknowledge the need for action. 

Amelia: She is the most open of the three, acknowledging her mother’s feelings, taking in information, and realizing the need for some sort of action.

Ewan: He remains doubtful about therapy but pushes past those feelings and does what he believes is best. Ewan’s openness is completely determined by what he believes is best -strategically.

How are the negative feelings of the family addressed?

While all three children continue to avoid negative feelings as a way of coping, their openness impacts their decision to try something new, such as talking with a therapist. The degree to which they are open will determine how much and how quickly they can pivot and improve their mental health overall.

  What lessons in leadership can we learn from Ewan?

 Lesson 3: Always prioritize the probable over the possible. 

Ewan is caught between a rock and a hard place. Does he resist therapy and protect his company from possible reputational damage? Or approve it and take a risk? Here, we break down the choice into probable vs. possible. There is a possibility that his firm’s reputation might suffer, however, it’s far more probable or likely that his family will continue to suffer if something drastic isn’t done, and soon. Plus, if something else does happen and it becomes known, the firm will take a hit. Thus, it only makes sense to be proactive – taking a smaller risk now to prevent having to take a larger risk later. Prioritizing the probable over the possible helps us make good decisions with the least amount of downside and mitigate risk.

Finally, what are some lessons we can learn from the scene as a whole?

1. Openness plays a huge role in whether we learn and adapt. We would be smart to ask ourselves: How open am I? How can I become more open when it comes to change, difference, and transition?

2. Sometimes there isn’t a solution that’s risk-free . We need to think in terms of probable vs possible and go from there.

3. We need to become more comfortable with risk. This is true whether we’re leading a group of people or in need of making some sort of change in our lives. Understanding the “ins and outs” of our situation can make taking that risk easier.

The Wrap-up

Sometimes we can find ourselves in difficult situations where our work life and personal lives clash. When this happens, we must learn to tolerate risk. Think in terms of what could happen vs what’s most likely to happen and make an educated decision. Thinking things through and learning to be comfortable with risk is a cornerstone of making smart decisions concerning our well-being. If you would like to learn more about our process please visit thepresentmethod.com